Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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