i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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