was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
