Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize