I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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