Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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