I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
