Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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