I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
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I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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