Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
