I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize