I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She bit a glass in half.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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