I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize