what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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