Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
