You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
