I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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