Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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