I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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