The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
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Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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