So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Enjoy the penises
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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