I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
