Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
