I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
