You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
