youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
