It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
where does the pee come out of this thing
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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