Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
