writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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