So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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