You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
