I heard we made out
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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