I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
