i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
