We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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