How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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