"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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