she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
