Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
