I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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