No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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