I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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