Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
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I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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