It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
