she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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