Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

(847): View more from Illinois

parking. I am not drunk

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(416): View more from Ontario

i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .

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(818): View more from California

Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"

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(407): View more from Florida

Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

wtf

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

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(714): View more from California

Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning

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