So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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