Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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