she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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