dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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