marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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