Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
