I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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