I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
