dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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