Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
