i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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