the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
