At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
