I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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